Save The Steiner
by unprettier
Summary: Beatrix finds her most prized possession has gone missing. And one Adelbert Steiner is to blame. Oneshot.


**Author's Note:** This story is a repost from my old (and now deleted) account. Just an FYI.

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Beatrix stared into the mirror before her as she contemplated her appearance. She was dressed in her usual garb, hair a mess of curls, and null eye concealed. She had slept merely two hours, three at the most, and while that would leave most barely functioning, it had the opposite effect on the General. She felt more than ready to take on another day.

Until, that is, she reached towards the rack at the foot of her bed. Every night before she slept, when she did sleep that is, she would place her sword on it and every morning, after she had dressed, she would retrieve it from the very same place. But now it was nowhere to be found. She stared at the case as if her Save The Queen would just magically reappear at will but there was nothing.

Beatrix placed her hands on her hips as she tried to recall the previous night. She had done nothing out of the ordinary, her routine never changing as General of Alexandria. Yesterday was particularly monotonous and she'd only found some enthusiasm in it when Steiner had allocated some time alone with her at the end of the night.

 _Steiner._

Exiting her chambers, Beatrix approached one of her squad members patrolling the main hall of the castle. She greeted the General promptly but Beatrix waved off her salute.

"Have you seen Captain Steiner, today?"

"No, General," answered the soldier, "Would you like me to send for him?"

"That won't be necessary, thank you."

The absent weight at Beatrix's side taunted her with every passing moment and she wondered what she would do if, god forbid, anything should happen that required immediate combat. Though she was certainly capable of handling swords of all nature, it had been so long since she'd used another that her concentration would surely be off in a battle without it.

Beatrix, having made her way to the canal now, scanned the area in search of the Captain. The lake was quiet and the air still, quite a sight to behold on such a bright, sunny morning but the General had her mind on other things.

"You there," she called out to a passing Pluto Knight, "Where is the Captain?"

"No idea," he answered flippantly, and she wondered when they'd gotten it in their minds to speak to her like that. Perhaps he had noticed she was without her blade but even still, Beatrix was quite sure she could put the knight in his place without a formidable weapon. Nonetheless, this was not the time or place for such things.

"Go find him. Now."

Despite his irreverent attitude, he obeyed without protest, leaving Beatrix once again alone.

When she had received no word back from the knight, the General returned to the castle and stood outside the Royal Chambers. She considered speaking to Garnet about her missing weapon, or the very least her missing companion, but she ultimately decided against doing so. She didn't want to admit it but she would be far too embarrassed to stand before the Queen so debilitated. She was not just a knight, she was the General, and the reputation she had built under that title was one she could not afford to tarnish.

Just as she began to turn away from the double doors, they opened and she was standing face-to-face with the person she had spent most of the morning searching for.

"Hello, Steiner," said Beatrix, "Anything to report?"

He stared at her for a moment. Her sword was clearly not at her side but she didn't seem to acknowledge that. Her tone was warm, if not suspiciously so, and she maintained a pleasant demeanor. Still, he couldn't ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach, which could only be identified as guilt. And maybe a bit of fear too.

"Everything is in order."

"Very well." They shared an awkward silence and though Beatrix initially allowed him to take his leave, she stopped him before he could quickly descend the spiral steps. "Steiner?"

He froze, keeping his back to her as he answered. "Yes...?"

"Have you seen my Save The Queen?"

He considered, if only for a brief moment, to take off and never look back but he would never be able to outrun an angry Beatrix and the end result would only turn out for the worse for him. When he turned around to face her, he immediately wished he hadn't. Her eyes were cold, all earlier warmth, albeit false, drained from her face. She stared at him, impatiently awaiting an answer and the longer he took, the darker her gaze became.

"I-I-I-I-"

"It's a simple question, Steiner."

"I'm afraid..." he said carefully, "I seem to have... misplaced it."

"You _misplaced it_?" she repeated, as if it were the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard in her entire life.

"I only wanted to t-try it out in combat. Just once!" he admitted, having marveled over the intricate piece of weaponry for quite sometime, and it wasn't as if he was the only one. "I had it with me on my patrol this morning but by the time I went to return it..."

Beatrix knew the rest.

Despite the fact that Save The Queen was her most prized possession, she felt little anger toward her beau. She was quite upset, it was true, but had any other fool lost it, they probably wouldn't have lived to tell the tale.

"Where did you have it last?"

Unfortunately for the both of them, the last time he remembered the weapon was during his patrol. He had taken out every single creature that plagued Alexandria's main entrance without so much as breaking a sweat but after he returned to the castle, he had gotten distracted, and it was gone before he had the chance to put it back.

Beatrix sighed.

"I've been searching the castle since dawn but I haven't seen it anywhere."

"Then let us search for it together."

Instead of splitting up, Beatrix allowed Steiner to lead the search so he could retrace his steps. From his chambers, he led her outside the castle, then to each tower, then back inside. It was quite exhausting to continue in such a never-ending circle but he had insisted he hadn't lost the sword in the city so it was all they could do.

After passing through the main hall for what felt like the hundredth time, Steiner noticed one of his knights staring at Beatrix quite intently.

"Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing," the knight told his Captain, "I see you found him, General!"

Beatrix nodded, disinterestedly. This was the very same knight who had shown her no respect earlier and now he was doing it again by staring at her like she was some sort of walking sideshow. She crossed her arms impatiently and waited for Steiner to continue their search. But he seemed far more concerned with this knight and she wondered for a moment if he was jealous that someone else was looking at her like that.

"Have you seen Beatrix's Save The Queen?" Steiner asked after he realized that Mullenkedheim's gaze was not on the General herself, but her side where her sword should have been.

"Ohhhh, that thing," he said, the recognition in his voice now catching Beatrix's attention, "yeah, it almost killed me earlier! I was heading back inside the castle when it came out of nowhere and almost sliced me in two!"

Steiner cursed himself for forgetting so easily. He now remembered having placed the weapon on the banister before chasing after, or rather being chased by, a feral oglop that somehow found its way into the kitchen. He hadn't realized the weapon was missing until much later.

Beatrix stepped forward. "Where is it?"

"I put it with the other weaponry in the East wing," the knight shrugged, "Later, Captain. I'm starving."

"Why you insolent little-"

Steiner's voice was cut off by the swift movement of Beatrix gliding past him and instead of chasing after the knight, he followed her instead. When they entered the room, Save The Queen was laying on the table to the far right, easily distinguishable between the other less elegant weapons surrounding it.

Paying no mind to the fact that her sword had seemingly been tossed about like it was nothing, Beatrix picked it up and sighed with relief as she sheathed it into her belt. Immediately, she felt like herself again. From the entrance, Steiner watched her, silently pondering his own fate. She had been far too preoccupied with finding the weapon to properly reprimand him for his foolishness but now nothing was saving him from her unforgiving wrath.

He braced himself as she approached him, willing to accept whatever harsh punishment befell him.

"You're quite the buffoon, Adelbert Steiner," Beatrix sighed, "but you're my buffoon."

Later that night, after Beatrix had placed her sword on the rack where it belonged while she slept, she took a long, hard look at her beloved before crawling into bed with him.

Steiner never touched Save The Queen again.


End file.
